From my beloved Colorado, I moved to Florida with Ron in 1988. I knew nothing about Florida, but I was in love and full of hope. In fact, I was pretty cavalier when I left Boulder that Spring day, telling worried friends that I’d be just fine. After all, “Florida’s in the United States; how different can it be?!” I soon learned just how different it was. With no family or friends to boost my spirits, and no mountain sports to distract me, I fell into a dark time and found myself blaming Florida. Should I move back to Colorado? No, I was with the right guy and he was committed to staying here. Finally, I sought help from a psychologist because, as I’ve often said, “I have a very low tolerance for feeling bad!” I blamed my circumstances, but soon discovered feeling better would require ME to change! Turns out my repetitive thoughts were spinning negative emotions and I could change that self-talk. Blame was keeping me stuck.I didn’t want to accept that I was the cause of my misery! But I began to see how my “operating system” was, in fact, blocking me from the very things I wanted most. Blaming Florida trapped me into seeing it with a negative filter and prevented me from seeing any of its beauty. I was skeptical of everything the psychologist told me to do. After all, I had justified my unhappiness by blaming Florida’s geography, climate, people… you name it. But I genuinely wanted to feel better, so I “tested” every assignment she gave me…to prove her wrong. I forced myself to track my feelings and insert positive self-talk wherever I found negative messages. I didn’tbelieve this new self-talk and scoffed at its simplicity. But I kept practicing, just to prove this wouldn’t help! Instead, I began to feel better. Slowly, I began to see the beauty of my new home. Hope returned. I felt empowered and willing to learn more. I studied spiritual principles and began to utilize them in my daily life. That meant disciplining myself to focus on the positive, pay attention to my emotional energy, release blame of any kind, and allow good to enter my life (even if it was in a different form than I expected). Most of all, I learned to weave gratitude through everything.
Luckily, spiritual laws will work in your life whether or not you believe in them….because I didn’t! Like a true skeptic, I tested them. Was it true that “likes attract likes”? Appreciating a small thing attracts more things to appreciate? I began seeking out things I could genuinely appreciate. A flower. A sunset. At first, my mind wanted to add “but it’s not as pretty as Colorado” so, I’d quickly insert “it’s unique to Florida” to release the old blaming thought. Then, I’d force myself to find another small thing to appreciate. I discovered that when you really search, you can always find something to appreciate! I also learned how expansive life can be when you release blame for good! All these years later, I can honestly say that I love Florida and the life I’ve created here with Ron. Consider it a true example of the power of gratitude. Happiness truly can be constructed a brick at a time by releasing blame and applying the simple power of gratitude.
I encourage you to start your own “journal of gratitude” to stay positive and eliminate blame from your life. Click the link below for a list of questions to help you get started. Just list 5 things you’re grateful for in your journal every day, eliminate blame in your self-talk, and notice small ways your life begins to improve! And if you want to accelerate your progress, schedule your free session with Linda now at: https://lindacobb.com/strategy-session.
Download the Gratitude Journal guidelines here.