Years ago, I led a leadership training session and referenced the mentoring we get from our fathers. After the session, a young woman approached me and said, “I never had a dad, so I don’t know what that would be like.” That got me thinking about mentors, and how they can really come from anywhere.
The truth is that whether we have a living or deceased father, or never had a father at all, we can learn to access love and wisdom. Sure, it’s easier when you have a photo on your desk and years of nurturing by a flesh and blood dad. But even if you never had a dad or had a toxic dad, you can access love and wisdom from within. That’s because we all have an “inner guide” that adores the unique person that you are, and always will. If we quiet our busy minds and listen, that adoring inner guide will provide love and guidance! You know that inner guide. It’s you when you care. Remember too, that your mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So, what if you created your own great “Dad”! Seriously. After all, few dads are perfect, and none of us get to keep our dads forever. So, what if you created the perfect dad and imagined that he was guiding you right now? What would be different? Would you make different choices? Would you be more honorable or witty? Would you stop blaming your circumstances and begin changing them? Would you be more loving toward yourself and others?
Try on the idea of your inner guide being your “inner dad”! It may just give you a fresh perspective and help you release the dead weight of blaming your “old dad” for not being perfect. And when you create a new perspective, you create new possibilities. Ready to give it a try? Here’s some mentoring from my own dad. It’s a list he gave to me when I went off to college. He said to rely on this daily structure as I learned how to live my life away from home.
- Do something for someone else.
- Do something for yourself.
- Do something that you don’t want to do that needs doing.
- Do a physical exercise.
- Do a mental exercise.
- Do an original prayer that always includes counting your blessings.
I’ve carried the small typed list around for years, and it has served me well. What would your guide share with you?